


colder weather

by AgenderCombeferre



Series: summer drabbles [9]
Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgenderCombeferre/pseuds/AgenderCombeferre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"he said, 'I'm stuck in colder weather<br/>maybe tomorrow will be better, can i call you then?'"</p>
            </blockquote>





	colder weather

            Leo had never meant to be distant. The thing was, before he’d fake met Jason and really met Piper, he wasn’t used to having friends that were always there, that weren’t just humoring him or putting up with him because they knew that it was only a matter of time before he was gone.

            So when Jason showed up in the doorway of bunker nine with those big concerned blue eyes, Leo let him in and listened because he wasn’t a monster.

            “And, and we know you’ve been really busy because a lot has happened-“ Leo resisted the very real urge to say something along the lines of _I know, I was there,_ “but this time, last time we got back from a quest we understood, you had the ship to work on, but this time – it wasn’t fair, man. We had all just – it was like we had lost you all over again.”

            At that Leo’s hands froze over the bits of metal he’d been tinkering with, trying to not focus entirely on Jason’s words, because that would only make him feel guilty, which would make him want to keep away from his friends _more_ to keep from hurting them mre, and they’d be in the same place again, but this - .

            _Lost him again?_

“What was it,” Leo’s words were slow, but Jason looked up in surprise, like he hadn’t expected to have this be a conversation, which - okay, yeah, Leo hadn’t led by example with his usual quips, but really, this was Leo Jason was ranting to. “what was it like? When I, you know,” Leo scratched the base of his neck, his fingers itching for something to do because apparently he was doing this _now._ “when I died.”

            Whatever Jason had been expecting Leo to say, bad joke or surprisingly deep anecdote, it hadn’t been that. His eyes widened like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, which was weird because Leo knew he was probably going to hear something about mourning or whatever, but even the Romans seemed to understand the human grieving process and didn’t chastise  their people for showing emotion, so Jason shouldn’t have felt like it was wrong.

            “It was,” Leo saw Jason’s grip tighten and relax, like talking about it was especially difficult for him.

Leo knew the seven had taken it hard, Piper even cutting her hair again in mourning. Which even if Leo felt like he did, even if he was the seventh wheel, or whatever, he did understand that he was still a person, and the seven would mourn, but the look on Jason’s face now reminded Leo a bit too much of Jason’s face when he’d gotten back.

It had apparently been months, nearly half of a year since he’d been gone, even though it had only felt like weeks. Leo had known that they couldn’t very well walk through the barrio, and Calypso had suggested waiting for a patrol to go by, but apparently Festus descending from the sky had been a good enough flair that the campers’ attention had been caught. Soon enough, they were surrounded by kids in armour and winter hats. Leo had known the camp was less full in the winter, but he spotted some familiar faces from their quick stop in New Rome to guess there had to be some sort of exchange programme set up.  
            They had been taken right to the Bug House, the campers not sure if he really was who he said he was, which was fair because they _did_ see him explode in the sky. They’d made it all the way to the steps when apparently the gossip of their arrival had spread beyond their guard. Leo had hardly made the complete movement to get onto the first step when he saw a blur of orange and was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. It took Leo a moment to adjust to his face surrounded by orange and blond hair a bit longer than he remembered.

“You _did_ miss me, then.” Leo had said into Jason’s shoulder, only half joking. He’d long since stopped trying to lie to himself about his feelings for Jason, so he only felt a little guilty when he lifted his arms to hug Jason in return. Jason’s frame had been lighter than he remembered as well, but that couldn’t be helped now that they weren’t in the middle of a war and weren’t fighting _the actual entire Earth._ Leo didn’t mention how Jason was shaking a bit when they broke apart, and how he knew it had little to nothing to do with the snow on Jason’s forearms. Leo noticed the shadows under Jason’s eyes that suggested the guy hadn’t slept well in a while and the obvious loss of weight in his face, but didn’t say anything because honestly he wasn’t any better.

What had struck him most of all wasn’t the loss of weight, the lack of sleep, or even the tears in Jason’s eyes, because the man had been through a war. He was alive, and that was what had been important at the time. What had struck Leo was the look in Jason’s eyes, like Leo was a ghost. Like he expected to wake up and find Leo gone again.

Like he was looking at Leo right now.

“It was horrible.” Jason said, looking at his hands again, apparently unable to look at whatever expression Leo was making. “It was – for like, half a minute we could only process that we’d won, that the war was over, but then – it was like, had we even really won? If we hadn’t, if you didn’t make it.”

“Don’t say that!” Leo didn’t know what possessed him to say it, or even why he was so angry. Jason thought that just because Leo hadn’t made it, that Leo had chosen to do what needed to be done, that it hadn’t been worth it? Leo just couldn’t accept it. At Leo’s interruption, Jason’s gaze snapped up in extreme concentration on Leo’s face. He looked like he was about to argue when Leo continued. “I know we’re friends and, and that means you care about me, but don’t say that because I didn’t – I’m just one person, and we saved _hundreds of people,_ how can you not see – “

“I know.” The hollow resignation in Jason’s voice put out all of the fire Leo had felt, all of the anger. “I know, I knew then, too, that it was irrational to feel that way, but,” and that’s when something clicked in Leo’s brain and he thought _Jason never said anything about the others feeling this way._ It had been only Jason who thought it. Only Jason who had actively months later still be missing sleep. Only Jason who had flown to the Big House at the first _whisper_ of Leo’s arrival, thought the guy had to know that it might have been a lie or a trick –

Only Jason who acted like Leo’s death, separate from New Roman citizens he’d known all his life, was the straw that made him feel like the world hadn’t even been worth saving.

“I didn’t fully understand. Why I felt, what I was feeling. And, there was so much to do, rebuilding the camps, setting up tribute to the fallen demigods and the forgotten gods, I didn’t have – I didn’t feel like I had proper time to, to mourn or,” Jason took a breath, his eyes fixed on his hands like he was steeling himself for something, a confession.

“Then you came back, with Calypso and it was – I didn’t know what to feel. It was like, as though you didn’t need me, us anymore,” Jason’s hands clenched around his shirt at the word ‘me’, like he hadn’t even meant to say it, like he had perhaps said too much, but Leo was still caught on the words around it to pay much attention.

“Dude, Calypso and I, we’re just friends.” Leo said, and Jason looked up at him so fast Leo wondered if this was the first Jason had heard of this, if Jason had been hearing rumours saying otherwise.

“I thought – “

“So did we.” Leo admitted with a hollow laugh. It had hurt more in the moments it was happening, but now as a semi distant memory, it felt more like one of those things people say you’ll look back on and thinking it was the worst thing ever will fade, until you realize it was a gift. “It was the magic of her island. See, the way it’s supposed to work is that only people who can fall in love with her can crash land on her island. But I was sent there purposely, so it only made us think I had, that we were in love. It was never real, we found that out, like, the minute Festus got us 100 or so yards out.” Jason looked like he didn’t know how to respond to that, so he went the way he knew best and apologized.

“I’m sorry, man. That must be rough.”

“I mean,” Leo smiled, brushing a bit of hair out of his face. “I won’t lie and say because it was the magic manipulating us it didn’t hurt afterwards, but it’s like, not the biggest deal? I mean, I knew I wasn’t straight before it had, you know, made me think what it did, but it’s still…yeah, not the best experience ever. But not worse than dying.”

While Jason tried not to laugh at what was probably the first of many such jokes, Leo put together his next move, sentence, whatever.

“So,” Leo said, pushing the metal on the work bench in front of him a few inches away to let Jason know he had Leo’s full attention. “because I kind of just, like, up and asked you to bear your soul or whatever, I think it’ll make us even to say that all of the things you just said? About feeling unneeded because I had Calypso, or whatever?”

Jason sobered up immediately, which was a bit of a shame, because that wasn’t what Leo wanted. He didn’t want this to be a serious thing where everything had to be sullen faces, They were just talking, and that didn’t have to be bad. “I felt, like, the same way when you and Piper got together. Obviously without you dying first, but – yeah,  just.” Leo paused, a small smile playing on his lips. “You weren’t the only one who felt like that, so don’t feel to bad about it.”

Jason nodded, looking at his hands for a moment, seeming to take this much more seriously than Leo had intended. Then –

“You know Piper and I, we broke up, right?”

“WHAT.” It wasn’t a question so much as a yell, and Jason looked like he was about to laugh, the bastard.

“I guess you miss out on camp gossip when you stay in your bunker.” Jason noted, and Leo snorted.

“Yeah, right. The Hephaestus kids could give the Aphrodite kids a run for their money, the gossip flying around the forge. Anyway, you don’t get to drop a bomb like that and pause to tease me, Grace. Spill.”

Jason laughed, and looked remarkably comfortable talking about a break up of what Leo had last heard of of the strongest couple in camp, or however it had been phrased.

“It wasn’t, like, bad.” Jason began, and Leo thought _duh_ because Piper and he were still friends, and there wasn’t ever a lull in conversation that Leo saw. “We just didn’t fit like everyone thought we did. And, like, Hera definatly was pushing us together with the quest, so we don’t know if maybe there was any interference on that end, but when it was over, and it was just us, we kind of realized,” Jason paused, and actually smiled, which okay, to each their own, but _who smiles when talking about a breakup?_

“Well, we both realized that we weren’t straight, so there’s that. We, like, both went to tell each other at the same time, which was awkward, but good? Because then we immediately had someone to talk to who had, like, been through the exact same thing.” Jason smiled at the memory. “Piper told me, she was a bit nervous at first, that she really found out when she and Annabeth were alone, and they talked as well and maybe kissed? I don’t really remember. And I told her about, about who I had liked, and we just kind of fell into this weird conversation, but it was really cool.”

“Dude,” Leo said, shaking his head. “that has to be, like, the best breakup ever. But I thought Annabeth and Percy - ?” And Jason was laughing again.

“Okay so, when everything settled down and people had time to, like, be with each other outside of the quest, it was really confusing because everyone seemed to be breaking up all over the place? But in, like, really cool ‘it just didn’t work out’ ways? And according to Piper, Annabeth and Percy had, like, the same thing happen to them, but it wasn’t at the same time. Like, Percy went to Annabeth in  New Rome to talk after he went and saw his mom. And by then, Annabeth had already talked with Piper, and everything seemed to work out?”

“Except for you.” Leo noted, and Jason honest to the gods looked confused. “The guy you said you liked, what about him?”

“Oh, he, ah.” Jason’s face was so red Leo had to check internally if he’d accidentally kept one of the forges on, or whatever, because in April afternoons it should have been fine in the bunker, but he couldn’t even remember using any of the forges today, so Jason was just blushing.

“C’mon man, you know you can tell me anything.” Leo said, smiling. After a moment, he added: “But, like, no pressure. You have been doing a lot of the talking, and it you don’t want to, it’s fine.

“No.” Jason’s voice was a strange pitch, one Leo hadn’t been expecting. “I’ve been wanting to – to say it, get it off my chest or whatever.”

“Go ahead, man.” Leo didn’t know why he felt like he was supposed to hold his breath or whatever, because it was Jason telling him something he shouldn’t be the one so nervous, he’d put those feelings for Jason away it wasn’t going to get in the way of –

“Leo, are you okay?” Jason asked, looking genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, man.” Leo said, hands clenching and unclenching around his suspenders. “Just fine, no worries.”

“Okay.” Jason took a breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. “Okay, um, you know when we were, when were on the Argo II?” Leo didn’t see how that had to do with Jason’s crush, but whatever. “And like, before that, and even after – “

“Jason - ?”

“It’s you.”

They spoke at the same time, but Leo had heard Jason perfectly. Jason wasn’t looking at Leo, he was looking at his hands, the bench, anywhere but Leo’s face.

“I didn’t want to – I didn’t understand at first, I thought it was just friendship or whatever, but when piper and I were talking about her and Annabeth, about how protective she felt about Annabeth even though, like, she can clearly take care of herself, and all of that. About how she realized that was her liking Annabeth and vice versa, I realized that was exactly how I felt – how I feel – about you.”

“Jason.” Leo’s voice was small, his heart racing.

“And I don’t want to make you feel, like, pressured to say or feel anything in response or anything – “

“Jason!”

Leo’s voice was firmer, and that must have said something to Jason because he actually looked at Leo this time, eyes all bare and honest, like he didn’t have any more secrets to give, anything else to say.

“I feel – I’ve always felt – the same.” Leo got out. Jason looked like he didn’t believe him, like he thought Leo was just saying it to make him feel better, or whatever. “No, I mean, even before we were on the Argo II, and all through the quest, I knew. I’ve known that I liked you since,” Leo paused, giving a moment for his last secret. “since the beginning. I just, like, put it to the side, because you were with Piper and – “

Jason stood, pushing his hair out of his face like he didn’t know how to respond which was fair because Leo didn’t either. Leo stood, and Jason looked at him like he was seeing him for the first time in a while, seeing _him,_ not the whispers of Calypso’s hands and Piper’s mouth, like he was seeing just Leo standing before him, all cards on the table on both ends and no idea of how to go from there.

“I think,” Leo began, but he was cut off by Jason hugging him. Surprisingly, it didn’t feel like an interruption. It wasn’t tight, or too fast, it was just the two of them steadying each other. Leo didn’t feel awkward, like most hugs did, with no idea where to put his hands. He wasn’t even thinking of his hands, or Jason’s hands or anything but _oh thank the gods he feels the same._

“Do you, um,” He began, and Jason broke the hug but stayed in his space, like he wasn’t anxious to get away. He still had a bit of that look in his eyes, like he was waiting to wake u0p, and though Leo felt the same, he also felt determined to get that look out of Jason’s eyes, to make sure Jason knew Leo was going to be there without a second thought. Leo offered his hand, and Jason took it, threading their fingers together.

“As romantic as this bunker is,” Leo paused to let Jason laugh, because he knew he was funny. “Do you want to walk or something? That was great, and we’ll probably talk more later today about, where we want to go from here and all, but for right now,” Leo squeezed Jason’s hand in an affectionate way. “I just really want to walk with you.”

“Walking sounds great.” Jason said, and after they closed the bunker up and were walking through the trees back to camp, through the early spring chill Leo couldn’t help but to feel a small flame of hope in his chest with Jason’s hand in his.

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: This work is entirely fictional, a work of fanfiction and is in no way a representation of Rick Riordan or anyone who represents him/his publisher/the future of the series/anything legal. Rick Riordan does not, as well as anyone else in any way a part of the creation of actual Heroes of Olympus works, recognise of this work as an official representation of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus series.


End file.
